This past year has been one of the hardest in my life. I have a wonderful husband and two healthy children, so I definitely keep things in perspective. I am very, very blessed and I thank God everyday for everything that surrounds me.....
When I started writing this blog I promised to be as transparent as possible...so I will keep my promise. During this past year I have left a career of 25 years in the mortgage industry. I completed (closed) my company last July. This was not my first choice, but I truly felt as if I was left with no other option. That made it very difficult. I have had to deal with the feelings of failure and disappointment since that has happened. I know that I cannot control the global economy, but I think that I am supposed to be "Super Woman".
Well the loss of the business, lead to bankruptcy in an attempt to save our home. We have been there for seven years and it was the only home Dayna and I shared as a couple. We went thru a year of not knowing if we would be able to stay, if we would make it until Christmas, if we would be able to keep all of our dear pets.....The pressure I felt was unbearable. Nothing was coming together for me....Finally in January we had to make the tough decision that we were unable to keep our home.
Since then we have found a wonderful home to rent, an amazing landlord that allowed our pets to come with us and we are still in my daughter's school district. It has been a truly blessed couple of months. Does that make is easy or proud to leave our home....absolutely not.
Well over the last three weeks I have really been through the gamut of emotions. I was sick, preparing for the move. We downsized from about 2500 square feet to about 1400 square feet, so that meant sorting, selling, organizing and letting go. There has been a huge part of this process that has been very freeing. I love our new smaller home. It truly is a new beginning for our family. I have kept the best possible attitude thru this time, but today it all tumbled in on me. Yesterday I was over at the old house doing some more clean out for the donation truck on Wednesday. I woke up this morning feeling very depressed. I didn't want to get out of bed. I couldn't stop crying and I didn't want to go anywhere. Well.....
I had a workout scheduled at SWEAT for 1:00....well obviously I didn't want to go....
I did go, a little late, but I made it. I fought back tears the entire workout, sometimes not very successfully. Gina was great...she gave me space, but still worked me out hard. I really had an awh-ha moment today....I realized that at this point I cannot always control my food intake....I know that sounds like a cop out, but it is the truth. I am able to be a little more aware while I am eating to satisfy emotions....and I stop sooner than in the past. Over time I know that I will not turn to food, but that is definitely a process. BUT HERE IS THE KEY...As long as I continue working out I know I will be successful...
The SWEAT Team has made it possible for me to have a place to go where people really care about my success. The connection I have made with the trainers is amazing. I know I matter to them, not just because I am a number, but because they are helping me change my life!! Thanks to all of you for that!!!!
Thanks to my wonderful husband Dayna who could see that I needed to be done with the old house and took over the task of the final clean up and move out of all of the last items. He is such a gift and I love him very much!
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